Posts by Lisa Schuman

Non-genetically linked parents can easily feel ignored, even by themselves. Key points Communication, mutal decision making, and building traditions can help families who use donor conception. Bonding is not dependent on genetics. Feelings about being genetically connected or not often go unspoken in donor conception families. When couples use donor conception to build their family,…

A rare but important reminder that with surrogacy, a contract may not be all you need. Key points Many intended parents do not realize that legal contracts are limited. During stressful moments, people often make decisions that align with their value system. A strong relationship and aligned values help intended parents and surrogates resolve difficulties…

Openness about donor siblings is key for you and your child. Key points Many parents-to-be worry about the likelihood that their child will have multiple donor siblings. Donor counseling may lead to fewer donations but is no guarantee that donors will limit offspring. Early disclosure and up-to-date information is essential for all involved. The news…

Key points Waiting until your child can understand their story may not be the best strategy. Talking to your child early and often can help them feel secure in who they are. Sharing your child’s story, as early as possible, can improve your bond with them. Practicing the story when your child is young helps…

Key points Fertility treatment is stressful, but so is decision making in fertility treatment. The decisions we make in fertility treatment can affect our future family for years to come. Regulating your nervous system may help you think more clearly than you imagine. Feeling good about family building is important but should not drive decision…

Understanding the challenges, uncertainty, and emotional growth that can come with building your family through surrogacy. Surrogacy is often described as a path filled with hope, but for many intended parents, it is also a journey marked by uncertainty, vulnerability, and emotional complexity. While much of the focus tends to be on the legal, financial,…

When most people imagine growing their family, they assume the second baby will come more easily than the first. For many, that’s not what happens. Secondary infertility can feel especially confusing and lonely. You already have a child, but month after month your period arrives, and the grief is layered with guilt: “I should be…

Donor conception: How children can benefit from an open dialogue. Key points Children who do not have open donors but have an open dialogue with their parents tend to fare well. Sharing your child’s story can be difficult and lead parents to delay telling. Practicing your child’s story can help ease the discomfort that often…

Pleasurable productivity can change your experience. Key points The “waiting game” of fertility treatment can trigger stress, anxiety, and a feeling of being out of control. Pleasurable and productive activities register to the mind as control, relieving stress. Pleasurable projects must lead to a meaningful result from one’s efforts in order to calm the nervous…

Your grief belongs to your story, not your child’s story. Key points Upset about not having a genetic tie to your child is your issue alone. Donor conceived or not, your child will see you as their parent. You can grieve over the loss of not having a genetically related child and have a wonderful…