In 2019, I presented my research at the annual conference of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. One of my findings was that 98% of the same sex male patients I surveyed desired a child from each of their genetics. That’s an overwhelming percentage!
The same sex female couples with whom I met did not seem to feel similarly. I wondered if this was my perception, or perhaps women are different. Are woman less concerned about being genetically tied to their children? Were the stereotypes of women and men I learned growing up true? Were men more concerned about passing on their genetics whereas women could love any child they raised? I set out to investigate this question with my next study which I presented at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine’s annual conference this year.
It turns out that men and women ARE different, but not in the way I expected. Although many women in the study preferred to have a child with their genetics, many others preferred to gestate. Women have two ways of connecting! Were there some women who did not care about gestating or using their genetics? Yes, but the majority of the women surveyed preferred one or the other.
What does this mean for you? That it is essential that you accept how you feel. Donor conception is right for some, not for others and for some, it takes some time getting used to. Wherever you are on the spectrum is okay. There are a lot of ways to build a family. Some feel genetics makes a family and others feel, as the song says, “love is all you need”.
And no matter which road you choose, or how much help you need in getting there, we are here to support you. You are part of our community and we value you.